Sometimes I think joining instagram was one if the worst things I could have done. Not because of the drama, I haven’t had that issue with it. But because of all the parents I have on my account. I’m not saying they are bad people or parents, quite the opposite actually. Many of them have a kid or two around Allys age and it seems like every time I login and see what some of my favorite people are up to, they are doing all sorts of creative things and their kid looks like a freaking genius. Which only makes me feel like a terrible mother because either we don’t do those things or Ally isn’t to that point yet, which would, again, be my fault.

I know everyone has different parenting styles and you are not supposed to compare you or your kid to others, but that is easier said than done. I see plenty of parents who do all organic and never let their kid eat junk food and here I am getting Ally a happy meal because she said she wanted fries and nuggets. I see their kids have a wide variety of things they will eat and I’m rotating around 5 meals every time we eat. Ally is picky, which she probably gets from me, so there we see again that I am at fault for her nutrition.

I see many parents try to limit their kids TV time and here me and Ally sit for a good chunk of the day watching movies and bouncing from Nick Jr to Disney Jr. I just feel like Ally is learning from things like Team Umizoomi and Dora. And she is, Ally knows a lot of shapes and even counted to eight in Spanish a couple weeks ago. But I feel like maybe I am also hindering her development somehow. I was an only child so kids confuse me sometimes. And I watched TV all the time as a kid, I still ended up on honor roll more times than not. I could have been in advanced classes had I not let boys get in the way. I just worry I’m not helping her learn to her fullest abilities.

I also see many of them have either already potty trained their kid or are currently working on it. We have not and I know we should have by now. The idea of potty training seems like a 3D jigsaw puzzle, entirely too hard. I see people making charts to help and can’t help but think “Ally won’t understand that chart, she will just want to play with the stickers.” Maybe I’m not giving her enough credit but like I said, I just feel like I’m not showing her the things she needs to know and when I see all these other parents showing their perfect children and their perfect lives, it makes me feel like crap.

I have considered the fact that they only show the good stuff going on in their lives to put on a facade of perfect health and learning, but it still doesn’t help me feel any better. I try not to spend too much time on instagram so that I don’t have to feel inferior, and sometimes I want to delete it entirely, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Too many memories and pictures I want to keep. I guess all I can do is keep trying to be the best mom I can be and not let others be the deciding factor in my mothering abilities.